So, I seem to be embracing the kinky lifestyle with enthusiasm. One of the BDSM groups in the area — about 2 hours away — is having a huge shindig this weekend, and, as many of the local groups tend to do, invited all the *other* local groups. Including, obviously, ours. I wasn’t planning on going, b/c it’s organized as a party for couples/trios, and I’m very much single.
However. (You knew there had to be a “however,” right? Otherwise this is a lame entry.) The group asked M., our electric play guru, if he would come to the shindig and do an electric play demo. We had a meeting this past Sunday, and M. asked me if I was interested in coming along as his electric demo guinea pig. Naturally, my interest was piqued.
The party sounds fun — here’s part of the description from the invitation:
Join us for a night of fun and debauchery on Saturday, July 30th. There will be an abundance of dungeons, private spaces, foods, plenty of soft drinks and even a moderate amount of more interesting libations. Fetish wear, costumes, formal attire…or no attire at all…is all very much encouraged.
Borrowing from the spirit of “The Story of O,” all guests will rendezvous and park at an appointed location. They’ll be met there by The Guide and will take a short limousine ride to The Castle. Once inside the limo, subs will be provided blindfolds and requested to leave them on until instructed to remove them inside The Castle. The party will commence once all guests have arrived at The Castle.
A decent handful of people from my BDSM group are going to be there also, so there’ll be enough of a familiarity factor there that I should feel pretty comfortable. M. e-mailed me to plan when we’re leaving, etc., and made a point to tell me that whatever limits I have on how we interact at the party is fine with him. Which is very thoughtful of him. (Different people in the group obviously have different relationships with their spouses/SOs, and for some, playing with other people is okay, some are poly, and some play just with each other. I haven’t quite sussed out exactly what M. and his wife have agreed on, but clearly playing with other people is okay. Though, really, there are so many different things that can fall under the category of “play,” that’s kind of a disingenous statement for me to make.)
In any case, I’m happy to be his electric guinea pig, but beyond that, any traditionally sexual activity (for instance) is out of the question. And I plan to keep my clothes on. (Corset and skirt, so it’s not like I’ll be wearing a burqa.)
So. Not only have I joined a BDSM group and participated in the play parties, now I’m going to another city for another group’s play party to be the demo model for, of all things, electric play, and be, essentially, on display for a bunch of people I don’t know.
I have definitely fallen down the rabbit hole.
I wasn’t sure if it was okay for a submissive to ask a dominant if he (or she) wants to play at a party, but I asked some of the other people what sort of etiquette was the norm for this group (different groups, as always, operate very differently), and they said sure, absolutely I can ask a dominant if he wants to play. I asked T. if he had already made plans to play with anyone, and he said no, and asked, “Do you want to…,” at which point I jumped in and asked “You want to tie me up?” He agreed enthusiastically.
I think I was tied up for about 2 hours, if I had to guess. He tied me, standing, to a pole, hands behind my back, and then more intricately around my waist, etc. While he was tying my hands, he said “You know that whenever you want to stop, you just have to say the magic word.” To which I replied, being a smartass, “Rutabaga?” And he said “Well, I was thinking ‘red,’ but okay, ‘rutabaga’ is good.” (I wasn’t actually thinking safeword; I was really just being a smartass.)
Then he got this evil look, and asked “How about an interrogation scene?” I said sure, bring it on. So the interrogation centered around the vegetable missing from the garden, and I was the suspect, and he just wanted to know what vegetable it was that I took. I insisted that there was no vegetable, so I had no information for him. (There’s a reason, after all, kinky activity is referred to as “play” — it’s FUN, frankly.) I got to be totally snarky in my resistance, which was entirely too much fun. T. got “rutabaga” out of me letter by letter. (T: “What’s the third letter?” Me: “Well, there IS no vegetable, so logic would dictate that there can be no third letter.” T: “Oh, there’s a third letter, and I’ll get it out of you eventually.” Me: “Ha! Do your worst!” T: “Oh, I will….”) The letter-by-letter method worked pretty well, since I could get him to stop anything I wasn’t comfortable with by giving up a letter, without stopping the whole scene with the whole word.
I think I mentioned that the first time he tied me up, it was distracting and weird to be tied up in public, didn’t I? This time was much less weird and much less distracting, partly b/c almost everyone else was playing. And also the interrogation scene helped me focus pretty much on what we were doing, instead of worrying about what else was going on around me.
When we were all packing up to head home, he asked me if I had his e-mail, so that if tomorrow or later this week, there was anything that I wanted to talk to him about regarding our scene, I could. Very solicitious. We swapped e-mail addresses and phone numbers, and he called me this afternoon, to see how I was feeling, physically and mentally. (I’m good.) I asked how he was doing, we chatted, he said he really enjoyed our scene, I said I did too. He said he had been wanting to do an interrogation scene for a long time and just hadn’t found anyone interested, and I said I loved the chance to be a bottom but still be actively involved, rather than passive. (One of the guys who’s married to a woman in the submissive group told me — teasing — that I was a smartass and needed to be whipped into shape. Heh.)
The Switch Is Not A Myth 