May 2009

I have an impending dilemma that’s pretty common among kinky folk.

I’m getting together with my old college roommates this weekend for a reunion (not a *college* reunion; just the 4 of us who shared a suite many many years ago at a college you may have heard of), and we have a LOT to catch up on. It’s been years since we’ve gotten together in person, and it’s been nearly as long since we’ve really caught up via phone or e-mail. Life happens, people have kids, you get busy flogging your boyfriend…you know how it is.

Anyway. It’s a situation straight out of some Lifetime movie: 4 college roommates reuniting, no spouses/SOs, no kids, just a girls’ weekend. And lots to catch up on.

They have no idea I’m kinky. I mean not even a teeny tiny clue.

In college, I was more vanilla than vanilla. Very very very good girl next door. Practically asexual. I mean REALLY. I can’t really remember ever talking about sex with anyone (and that includes people with whom I had sex).

Now, let’s be clear: I had kinky fantasies for as long as I can remember. Since before I was really aware of my sexuality, or the possibilities therein. So in college, I was still just as kinky as I am now; it was just all inside. Really, really, really far inside. If I was embarassed to talk about sex in general, you can be DAMN sure I would have died on the spot to talk about kinky sex, let alone my interest in it.

(In retrospect, it’s a miracle that I managed to get past my hangups and get kinky. I was lucky enough, some years back, to have a seriously, wonderfully twisted friend-with-benefits who casually said, “I’d love to tie you to my bed all weekend.” I was so caught off guard that I blurted out, “Oh my god, I would LOVE that!” And thus a kinkster was born.)

So, yeah. I *know* that not only do they have no idea I’m kinky, they would be shocked as hell to find out that *I,* out of all of us, am a cheerfully enthusiastic pervert.

I don’t know whether to tell them. I don’t anticipate disapproval; they’re fairly laid-back women with healthy sex lives of their own, and even if *they* aren’t kinky, they’re pretty laissez-faire with the whole idea of getting down with whatever gets you off.

(That last sentence is one of the most convoluted, slang-y things I’ve ever written. I love it. I think I must marry it.)

But on the other hand, I honestly don’t even know how any of them feel about kink. Like I said, it was never a topic I even considered bringing up.

I’ve known them for a long, LONG time. There’s a lot about each other that we didn’t always agree with, but we always respected each others’ viewpoints, and above all, loved each other.

I guess I’m going to play it by ear. They might be cool with me mentioning that I’m into kinky sex, but not so cool with the idea that I belong to several groups that have regular play parties, at which I undress and beat my boyfriend or get beaten by him. But then I wonder, is not telling them the full extent being dishonest and not true to myself?


Watch this space for updates after the weekend.

The other night T. was playing with rope and decided to make a rope corset on me. We were at a friend’s house, so I didn’t have my good camera, but we took pictures with my cell phone (hence, the quality is less than good). Still, I thought it looked so nifty that I wanted to share.


Rope corset -- front

And back:

Rope corset -- back

They’re honestly very easy to do, and they look so damn cool. And you can do just the around-the-torso version; you don’t have to do the chest/shoulder harness part, like on mine. The harness part is more complex, and is actually a totally different tie. The corset part is seriously just a back-and-forth thing, with larksheads over and over. Google “rope corset” or “rope gauntlets” (a rope corset is the same pattern as a rope gauntlet, but on the torso instead of the arm).

Also fun at parties!

One thing to note, though, is that if the person wearing the corset needs out right away (claustrophobia, panic attack, gastrointestinal ick), the corset does NOT come off quickly. So if you know ahead of time that you might need to get out quickly (and obviously you can’t always know), then maybe skip the rope corset.

And if your rope bottom needs out quickly, just cut the damn rope. You can always get more.

And ALWAYS have safety shears close at hand (ideally, in a pocket) when you’re tying someone up.