Yes, I’m really a switch. No, it’s not because I “haven’t met the right dom/sub/master/slave” who would make me realize that my True Self(TM) was actually 100% sub/dom/etc.
For a long time, I thought I was 100% sub. But then I realized how fucking HOT it is to be the one wielding the whip. (Studio audience: “How hot IS it?”) It’s just as hot to be the top as it is to be the bottom. Totally different vibe, absolutely. And not everyone is wired to be switchy.
But for me — it’s not that I can’t choose; it’s just that I don’t want to.
Fortunately, I also don’t have to choose.
For as long as I can remember having sexual feelings (and probably before that, actually), I’ve also been BDSM-inclined.
Actually, the “also” in the previous sentence doesn’t make sense to me. There is no “also.” It’s as much a part of my sexuality as being (mostly) hetero. It’s not an add-on, as if one day I’m not kinky and the next day I am — it doesn’t work that way for me. I just…am kinky. That doesn’t mean that all my sexual activity is (or has been) BDSM-related. Far from it. But it IS an integral part of my sexuality, inasmuch as “sexuality” is something different from genitals, having nothing to do with body parts and everything to do with our thoughts and emotions and psyche and what we want, sexually, and how we want it.
In any case, this blog isn’t about the Why of my kinkiness; it’s about the What of my kinkiness. And, more importantly, the What Do I Think about my kinkiness.
[Note: there are many terms that people use to generically mean “BDSM” and “kinky activty” — S&M, leathersex, bondage, dominance/submission, power exchange, etc., etc., ad infinitum. I tend to just use “BDSM” and “kink/kinky” as catchall terms to refer to myself and what I do.]
The Switch Is Not A Myth 
February 18, 2008 at 6:35 pm
Oh my gosh, you are so right on. I’m a Switch too, and I’ve been real time for a long time. I can sooo relate! The ones that made me laugh the hardest were about the honorifics. ROFLMAO!!!!!!!!!!
The thing that most irritates me is when I meet a submissive who does that Ma’am, Sister Margaret, Mistress crap to me, forcing me into the dominant role … like I’d actually WANT to Top someone that silly!! Blech!
Keep at it …. Y/you are loved! lol
Peg
July 3, 2009 at 12:18 am
Just wanted to say I am really uplifted by your blog( yay, someone like me who actually HAS found a relationship and fun stuff!), and hope the lack of recent updates doesn’t indicate anything bad in your life.