The New Year’s Eve party last night was interesting. And fun. And kind of painful. I did a scene with R., which gave me the opportunity to experience getting whacked with all kinds of things that I hadn’t experienced before — paddles, bullwhips, canes — and a little knifeplay, too (no actual cutting, though — no, sir). My ass is black and blue. I don’t mean, like, a bruise here or there; I mean my whole ass. It’s a little impressive how uniform it is on both sides — and like I said, all over. An area bigger than a CD, on both sides. (I can’t think of anything similar to compare it to. Probably not as big as a 45 record, but bigger than a CD.) Granted, my bottom is a nice big target, and no dom worth his leather would fail to take advantage of the room to play.

Like so much this year, it was a good learning experience about what I like and don’t like and what I want to maybe try again to see what I think about it. I really like *impact,* but don’t like the actual pain at all. I think my butt is just a very delicate butt. It can’t take much before it starts to hurt a LOT. I liked the knifeplay a whole lot, mostly b/c of the mindfuck aspect of it. And really, out of all the various whackings I received, what I dug most was the actual interaction between me and R., partly from the mindfuck aspect, and partly from the dom/sub aspect. But the actual owie stuff? I don’t like it. I can’t take much of it, and I *know* that he wasn’t hitting very hard, since it was the first time we played together.

And, you know, that’s totally fine. I don’t *have* to be into everything. I don’t have to like pain, or want to be walloped until I bruise a vast array of colors. And that’s cool. It’s a good learning experience for me. I would definitely play with R. again as long as we could work out how it could be less painful to me, while still making it enjoyable for him.

There were a TON of people at the party — people from other regional groups — and that was a little weird. There were about 60-70 people there, which is the biggest party I’ve been to yet. And that meant that a LOT of people were watching my scene with R., which is kind of uncomfortable to me, and really keeps me from totally getting into it. But I know full well that that’s part and parcel of a public party — if you play, people will watch. And if you don’t like to be watched, then you don’t have to play. I guess my curiosity about different Implements O’ Whacking was greater than my dislike of being on display.

It was fun, though not as fun as other scenes I’ve done. But, like I said, a good learning experience, and that’s what I’m looking for right now.