rope bondage


A few weekends ago, T. and I went to a 3-day convention (is that the right word for it? “gathering of kinksters”?), which was a lot of fun and pretty educational. There were classes/workshops offered all weekend, on everything from fire play to flogging. I attended a class on breath play (which is something that I’m not ready to do or have done to me, but I think more knowledge never hurts), one on CBT (which gave me some wonderfully wicked ideas), “Care and Feeding of Your Submissive” (which, despite the lighthearted name, was about how to maintain a healthy relationship when your relationship has a deliberate imbalance of power), and BDSM and the Law. Interesting stuff, all the way around.

The vendors’ area was dangerous — at least, to my bank account! I bought a huge amount of 3/8-inch MFP rope (purple!), some smaller lengths of skinny cord (about 3.5 mm, I think) that will be perfect for CBT, and a gorgeous bullhide flogger from MT Leather.

There was a fetish ball Friday night (not a play party, though some people were dressed in full fetish wear — and pony gear….YUM!) and a play party on Saturday night. I often get to see some truly amazing scenes/play/technique at play parties, and this one was no exception. Watching others’ scenes is (almost) as good as participating in my own. I love the group gestalt and energy that can get generated at a play party. It doesn’t always happen; sometimes play parties just feel like a series of isolated scenes, with no real group cohesiveness. But when it does happen, it’s a rush just being in the dungeon and watching, let alone the thrill of playing in the middle of all that, aware of all the energy around you even as you’re focused intently on your partner(s). This play party was like that, and it was fantastic.

DAMN. Now I know what it’s like to be dommed by T.’s cross-dressed persona. So. Fucking. HOT.

I think it lasted about 3 hours — afterwards, people were commenting on how long it was — but it seemed like no time at all. It was THAT good. Lots of nipple play/torture, which I love. I was blindfolded the whole time, which helps me to tune out the rest of the party — it’s like, if *I* can’t see that there are other people there who might be watching me, then even though I can hear them, it still doesn’t *really* register. Which is a good thing.

It was all power exchange and bondage and other assorted pain play, but no flogging/beating. Which was fine with me. It’s the power exchange that I love so much. I’ve never gone into subspace — at least, not the way I’ve always heard it defined — but the fact that the rest of the party just receded into the background and I was able to simply experience the moment really did feel like a completely different headspace than I’ve experienced during BDSM play yet.

No, *really* — 11 hours of kink — the BDSM group had an all-day seminar, which was 9-5 (yes, I got up at 7:30 on a Saturday; I tell you, only for kink would I get up that early on a Saturday), and the play party was 8 p.m. to 1 a.m., though I was only at the play party from 9 to midnight. That’s a LOT of kink for one day!

The seminar was a very loosely organized, rambly thing presented by a Dom who has been active in the BDSM world for over 25 years. He has 3 slaves who live with him, and 2 of them came with him to the seminar. I talked with one of the slaves for a long time at the play party. I have to say, I don’t understand the 24/7 master/slave lifestyle, not at all, but I was fascinated hearing her talk about it, and how it’s fulfilling to her, and how it works for her. I have so much to learn.

There wasn’t really a topic for the seminar, as such — it was mostly just Ways To Live the BDSM Lifestyle Even Better. I got to meet a lot of people, some of whom I already knew from previous meetings, but some who were new to me. Everyone is really very friendly, and kind, and funny.

Like I said, after the seminar there was a gap of a few hours, and then the play party. As for the “play” part of the party, yes, I did actually participate (this was only the second play party I’ve been to with this group….or, well, ever). I hadn’t planned on participating, and I was standing around watching some truly impressive bullwhip work, when one of the guys, T., came up and asked me “So, would you like to be tied up?”

I don’t remember ever talking with this guy about whether I’m a top or a bottom, or what I’m into. Maybe I just look like I need to be restrained. He’s a very nice guy, not freaky or intense in that creepy way of I Am The Ultimate Master. Really mellow. And wearing a long leather skirt and boots with 5-inch heels. Impressive.

When he asked me, I stammered and stuttered through a paragraph’s worth of “ummm” and “well….” and finally said “Yes, but you DO know I’ve never done this before, right?” And he said yeah, he did, and that it could just be low-key and as little or as much as I wanted, and that I could say I had had enough at any time. (Plus, at these parties, there’s always one person who’s the Dungeon Monitor who keeps an eye on everything going on, and lends a hand if anything ever gets out of control, etc. The DMs have to be certified in CPR and first aid, etc. This group is really very on the ball.)

Being me, I asked (and I quote) “So….what’s the endpoint?” Which made him laugh and tell me not to be so goal-oriented. So, using maybe 25% of the rope from a truly impressive bag o’ rope he had, he tied me to a bench of sorts — kind of like a bench/chair, because I had a back to lean against — and, after very thoroughly tying everything that could be tied (including my toes — my shoes were open-toe), which took about 25-30 minutes, I’m guessing, he told me that now it was up to me to get out of it. (Though later he said that if I’d had trouble, he would have helped, and, in fact, he had to untie my wrists first b/c my left hand got pins and needles, which was annoying.)

Here’s the thing: I liked it, a lot. *But* I wasn’t turned on, though. Having so many other people around was utterly bizarre, and eliminated any sexual charge I would have otherwise gotten. I am so very not an exhibitionist. And it’s very surreal to be getting tied up and have people wander up, say “Nice knots!” and then have a totally mundane conversation with me. Like, about my shoes.

It was good, don’t get me wrong. But, because I’m me and I *do* care about the endpoint (which, for me, frankly, is a sexual thing), the whole on-display part of it was very unsettling. So I’m still processing a lot of it, largely from the navel-gaze-y perspective of What Do I Want And How Do I Want It. I do that.

But yes, I got tied up. Very damsel in distress.

Lots of other people were playing at the same time, too. There’s a strict rule about no sex/penetration and no scat or urine play, but beyond that, anything goes, if the people are consenting. While I was being tied up, just within the 25-foot area around me, there was a flogging, needleplay, and waxplay (which was very pretty). In the other room, which I could hear but not see, since I was tied to a bench at the time, the seminar presenter was demonstrating singletail bullwhip technique, first on his 2 slaves, and then on anyone who wanted to get whipped. (I did not volunteer.) There was also a suspension scene that I heard about later (again, since I couldn’t get up, I couldn’t see it), and, much later, electricity play (with a violet wand). These people are serious about their kink. It’s very cool.

The members are very casual about being naked around other people, which I just boggle at. I seriously can’t imagine doing that. I like to limit my nakedness to one person at a time. Maybe 2. It doesn’t bother me that they’re naked (partially or fully), but I don’t expect to be taking any part of my clothing off at a party any time soon. Or ever.

Like I said above, everyone is very friendly, and welcoming. Being me, it’ll be a while before I feel really comfortable in the group, but I feel like I’m getting my footing. And it’s good.

Also, I was *really* sore the day after the play party. Apparently my flexibility is for shit. Plus, being in one position for half an hour is more sore-making than you’d think. Especially my arms, which were over my head for part of the time. I need to start doing more yoga, it seems.

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