I’m loving Bitchy Jones’ latest post, on why switches are hot. (Okay, to be fair, she’s talking about male switches. But I’m egotistical enough to take my imaginary compliments where I can.)

But really — she’s right. Bitchy says, “…it is just a lot of fun to hurt a man who knows just what I’m doing. Who can tell me what to do.”

Sweet Lord YES. He knows exactly the rush I get when I’m the one wielding the flogger, because he gets the same rush when he’s on top. He knows what his submission does for me (GUH), because he knows how it feels when someone subs to him.

I’m a HUGE proponent of the flip side of this, as well: when T. is the dom and I’m the sub, I know that he knows what a singletail feels like on a bare ass, because his ass has been there. He knows how a rattan cane feels, and why swinging it too hard is going to get me to end the scene immediately, because he’s been on the receiving end of an overzealous cane.

I’m not saying that everyone, deep down inside, is a switch. I don’t believe that everyone is. But I do think that everyone has it in them to switch roles once in a while, which doesn’t change how you see yourself — you are still a Big Bad Dom even if you sub for a night. You are still a service-oriented slave even if you pick up a flogger from time to time.

There is enormous value in experiencing the other side of your normal role. A dominant who subs once in a while gets a much better sense of what exactly his sub is giving to him in their power exchange. A submissive who doms occasionally can understand what it’s like to be the recipient of all that trust, and what a rush it is, and realize how their submission affects their dominant.

And I firmly believe that — at the very least — a dominant should always test her toys out on herself before she ever uses them on a submissive. The dominant doesn’t have to actually be in a scene, doesn’t have to actually be submissive to someone else, but she does need to know what that rattan cane feels like on bare skin.

Because it’s just utter jackassery to learn how much is too much by observing what it takes to make your submissive bleed.